He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
