I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
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I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable