dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
