I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm sobbing to NWA
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
