We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
