I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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