roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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