With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
