If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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