the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
