how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
