So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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