I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
