I hope mine doesn't look like that
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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