i think my mom watched the whole time
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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