trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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