I'm gonna have a badass scar
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
