that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
