I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
