remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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