hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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