I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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