The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
