His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
