I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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