A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
