In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize