its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
