there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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