Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
