I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
