she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
