Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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