i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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