I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
