please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
