You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
