best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
