I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
