Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
