i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
