wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
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So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
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My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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