i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
