Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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