so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
