Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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