she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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