I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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