Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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