my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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