How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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