After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
