Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
