3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
