New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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