How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
