I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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